Sacred souls of

She speaks to me in the language of unknown.

Give me your secrets tell me your story.

She is a far off voice in the wind.

She is like an echo that taunts me in the night.

A tree, she is planted. Her roots are inside of me, the earth.

As my tears strengthen the tree of life, this is the beginning and not the ending. Do I stop or do I go; the right of passage as we linger.

The inner parts of my soul guide you to me.

Come; enter into Euphoria and heavenly bliss, Kiss, bloom, blossom you are the flower that deployed into the state of peace. Be my serenity.

I want you to lay naked inside your soul.

Show me the fruits of your spirit.

Be plentiful in the production of life and love.

Do you understand the significance of what could be true and a reality in your life? Don’t let it slip away in the world of unforgettable, disappear and never return. It’s the art, the creativity of the essential part of air…

In hale and exhale life of love.

Nest

Time has flown by like a bird in the sky.

I sit here wondering would you become apart of my circle of life again.

There is an empty space inside of my soul. The words fall so simply off my tongue, but it fills my heart like a hurricane flooded with the emotion of life.  I’ve drown into them and I say it with every fiber in my body.

I miss you. I really do miss you.

Missing you is a far wind blowing wondering will you come back to me.  I feel I’ve sailed a thousand seas not find a destination to land and plant the seed of.  My peace my comfort inside you.

Your arms, I am wrapped into your bliss of…

Oh how I miss my lady of inspiration my muse. Come back to me my words of life is dying a corpse wrapped a cloth of misery.

Words to never explode in the orbits of paper it would never be held gently in your eyes to see.

Infinite Blind…

Missing you is the sunshine without the essence of light and the heat that warms the soul of love.

My heart is in season, fly back to me. Your nest waits.  Allow me to secure your heart and love you.

Self-Sabotaging

A moment of silence, while I mourn the death of what could have been; she is now not my reality. I am forever locked inside of my fears and forever drenched inside my tears.  Living inside of self-sabotage, making her a casualty of this war that’s inside my soul. ABANDONMENT… How l deal and cope with it is a reflection in the way I make movements when it comes to love. Past innocent connections of the spirit as a child, damage the core of me.

I’ve discovered that change is good in relationship when there is growth and not stagnation. Being in the stage of Self-Sabotage and not conveying thoughts to the one I love with fear wrapped inside, it was easy for me to use a lie or be manipulative inside my emotions.  I couldn’t embrace the treasure that I worked hard to find. I recall my first moment of fear, I had begun to taste and sample on the reality that my spirit has finally found a home inside of this woman. I didn’t realize how calculating I was inside of my emotions. Fear was a familiar friend with anxiety wrapped inside. I was like the people Plato speaks of No Light, stays in the dark, wanting to know what the other side of love = light feels like. Yet I remain in the dark.  I’ve walked this universe believing I was a victim, a casualty of someone else war of emotions, and not realizing the war begin with me. Inside my head and thoughts I begin to run to the sinister legroom as if a petty lie could give me the space I need. I couldn’t perceive nor conceive that this was my reality. even though my mind was disconnected from love, I wanted it. My heart and spirit was reaching for it.  All three must connect, Yes it’s a trinity.  As I sit here contemplating and remembering Lady Fishnet and I talk about how it’s important to trust each other emotionally. We did the Check- INS to make sure we were on the same page. She was putting it on the line and I was still holding back.  I didn’t trust myself, which lead to me pulling away from her and using the one place that is sacred to do it.

Within in moments of seeing the pain in her face, hearing her voice of disappointment, she opts out. I begin to reflect on past relationships. Scrambling inside my head trying to figure out have I been here before? In conclusion, yes I have been here before. Instead of escaping, running, and not communicating with her about my fears; I acted out a scene and set the stage of self destruction and sabotage.

 

Nourishment for Today’s thought process:

Step out of your way meaning stop creating barricades and walls to block the light of true love. Allow your spirit to show you to the truth of your partner’s heart where the bliss resides. Live in the warmth of him or her. Please trust that universe has guided you in the right direction and has carved you a Peace of happiness.

Keeps it moving?

I get to the point. I am an open book. I am too old, but I am patience enough to allow a person to reach their conclusions. Acceptance, Truth is a way of life; I’ve become one with it. Patience may be a virtue, but only if a woman heart is sincere. I have all the patience in the world, but I am not the one to Bullshit. I convey what’s in my heart and I let people find their own truth. We are not living in Cartoon Land.  Tom and Jerry: I am not Tom when I can’t get one mice, there is always another to eat.  This is not the road runner and the coyote. You are not going to keep leading me over a fucking cliff. There are plenty of birds to be plucked.  Fuck determination Fuck perseverance that’s my Motto for Dating and Love.  Do me a favor and keep your damn cookies and the box, I hope they Stale…LMAO!!

Secure!!

This morning you help me deal with my past pain and soothe me.

This afternoon your words wrapped around my heart and put me in a calm place.

This evening your presences, conversation, and laughter secured my soul and spirit.

Your kisses help me understand why my heart consistently reaches for you and how I will love you forever inside the glucose of Always.

My applications of Life supply the information of living in Love.

Where is my Faith and Belief?

I was told as a child that faith is as simple as counting 123, and then mental pain wouldn’t be a part of my existences. I suppressed the pain of my childhood and convinced myself that I was not in the state of pain. I found ways to escape: partying and having different sexual partners. I had a deep need to go to another world, because my world was not of comfort. I couldn’t see heaven, because I was in hell. I was raised in a secret society taught to think inside the box and was brain washed about life; trapped spiritually, emotionally, and stagnated mentally living inside of a secret society.  Imagine being a child going to bed every night with all your clothes on, scared that the man which is the outside world is going to come get you; and you must be prepared to fight. To protect your sisters and brothers of the society you had to build bombs and cocktails preparing for them to come to destroy your way of life. Seeing the pain inside of a child eyes, the sexual and physical abuse; livings in this torment, yet you are told to pray that God will make it better. Ironically, my life was wrapped around spirituality, and God was the source of our society. I am trying to make sense of it all and why do I feel neglected by God? Why did I have to see or experience this pain and deceit? You tell me to pray, well, my voice is inside of the wind right now and my pain is more visible. My faith has been shaken. I am restless inside of my soul. I want to escape inside of my thoughts of leaping into a love affair mind blowing whirlwind. I want to go to a place where they won’t touch and fondle my mind. I can’t stop this deep cry inside of my pain. There’s no end it’s a bottomless pit of despair. I am sinking. I felt like I had no one to hold me. I can’t walk inside of a church without being reminded that this is where my entire existence change and where my pain begins. This was supposed to be a place of refuge, a sanctuary of peace. My peace is gone and I am broken.  I feel demoralized inside. Will my faith sustain me? What are the substance and the evidence of faith? How could one be blind by their faith and belief?  Will I ever be free from the existence of the truth that stands powerfully rooted inside of my mental psyche each day? Will the same word faith with the definition of believing who God is in my life help me through this world of pain?